When Life Feels Too Heavy: Understanding the State, Not the Self
When Life Feels Too Heavy: Understanding the State, Not the Self
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Written by: Michelle Davies
Published: 17 December 2025
Created: 17 December 2025
Last Updated: 17 December 2025
I’m writing this because many people I work with are reaching a point where life feels too heavy to carry.
Some are quietly wondering whether ending their life is the only way to stop the pain.
If this is you or someone you love, please pause here.
What you are experiencing is not who you are.
It is a state. A frequency your system has dropped into under pressure.
For some, this state feels psychological.
For others, it feels spiritual.
Some experience it as the ego of suffering.
Others experience it as a dark voice, temptation, or even the devil speaking through the mind.
However you understand it, the pattern is the same.
It isolates.
It speaks in absolutes.
It removes hope.
It pulls you away from the heart.
That voice is not your truth.
It is not your soul.
It is not God.
A truth that matters
Thoughts of ending life are not instructions.
They are signals.
They are your system saying:
“This frequency is no longer sustainable. Something must change.”
The call to action is not to leave life.
The call to action is to change the state.
When the thoughts appear, change frequency immediately
Do one thing. Not all of them. Just one.
1. Use the prayer to return to the heart
Place a hand on your chest and slowly repeat, out loud or internally:
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
Repeat it gently, like a rhythm.
You do not need to analyse it.
You do not need to feel anything special.
This prayer softens the nervous system, dissolves inner conflict, and brings you out of the mind and back into the heart. It works even when you feel numb.
If the thoughts are loud, repeat it slowly and steadily until something eases.
2. Hum
Humming stimulates the vagus nerve and calms the nervous system.
• Inhale through your nose
• Hum on the exhale
• Let the vibration fill your chest, throat, and face
Do this for 2–3 minutes.
Sound restores order.
Vibration shifts state whether you believe in it or not.
3. Dance - even if it feels awkward
You do not need joy.
You do not need rhythm.
You need movement.
Put on any music and move your body for 2–5 minutes.
Shake. Sway. Stamp. Stretch.
Dark thoughts thrive in stillness.
Movement brings life back into the body.
4. Go into nature - barefoot if possible
Step outside.
Stand on grass, earth, sand, or soil.
If you can, take your shoes off.
Feel the ground under your feet.
Nature regulates the nervous system automatically.
Barefoot contact discharges stress and brings you back into the present.
5. Breathe yourself back into safety
Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
Breathe in for 4, pause for 2, breathe out for 6.
Repeat 10 times.
Longer exhales tell the body you are not in danger.
6. Create contrast through laughter
You are not trying to be happy.
You are interrupting suffering.
Watch a short clip that once made you laugh.
Remember something absurd.
Even a small smile shifts chemistry.
Tiny shifts matter.
7. Be with someone who carries steadiness
Low states isolate. Healing requires co-regulation.
If you can:
• Meet a friend who feels calm or grounded
• Walk together
• Sit together
• Say very little
Borrowing another person’s regulated nervous system lifts your frequency without effort.
8. Place the dark voice to the side
Imagine the voice saying “I can’t do this anymore” sitting on a chair next to you.
Say internally:
“You can speak. You do not lead.”
This is sovereignty.
This is choosing the heart over fear.
If you are supporting someone else
You do not need perfect words.
You do not need to fix them.
Stay present. Stay calm. Stay connected.
• Breathe with them
• Hum with them
• Walk with them
• Repeat the prayer with them
• Sit quietly
Presence is medicine.
Please read this carefully
If you feel at risk of acting on these thoughts or someone you know does reach out immediately.
In the UK, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.
You do not need the right words. You only need connection until the wave passes.
One final truth
You do not need to fix your life today.
You do not need answers today.
You only need to step out of this state.
This voice is not truth.
This frequency is not permanent.
Your heart is still here.
Repeat the prayer if nothing else feels possible:
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
You are needed.
You are held.
And this is not where your story ends.
Please share this with anyone who may need it.
